Hollywood's Hangover

See that guy in the picture who has a monkey sitting on him? That's Hollywood right there ... a drunk beaten up poor guy who's had too much to drink and has no f clue where he is or what he should do. Lucky enough these days, if you say f0#k enough times, put a monkey on your head, give a douchy looking guy a crazy tatoo on the face and bring a freako staring maniac along, there will be a bunch of people lining up to watch the s#it that's going down.

I found the first Hangover to be mildly entertaining, so I can't say I remember any of it. This was quite fortunate because the second one seems to be just like the first, only shot in Bangkok. This, of course, changes any Las Vegas jokes, like getting married to a hooker, to the asian version, which means doing the reverse cowgirl with a big boobied asian hooker who is actually a man... Take that, change the baby for a monkey, and you're basically all set for a new big bucks success.

In the end you are left with a boring movie that makes a lot of DIRTY sex jokes and has an ending even more stupid and predictably sugar sweet than No Strings Attached ... Yes ... it's THAT bad. The pics from the credits were probably the single most funny moment from the movie...

Ahh, damn it, Hollywood ... get your s#it together for crying out loud ...

Star Wars + Kinect = LoveFail

Right about now some very lucky people are attending the E3 conference. To cut to the chase I was really waiting to be impressed by the new Kinect game called Star Wars Kinect.

It looks ... amazingly crap ... unfortunately ... I mean common ... LIGHTSABER ON? wtf is that all about??







You know what looks better than that ?.... this guy right here:







Yeah ... I don't have much love for Microsoft ...

X-Men - Best Class

I was a little concerned when the movie started last evening ... X-Men First Class starts with the exact same scene as X-Men, which I consider to be the best movie of the X-Men Franchise (and it doesn't even need to show any Wolverine Butt to do that). So, as I was sitting there I thought to myself that maybe these guys are over-ambitious, as the last X-movies were fairly disappointing. It was challenge accepted from the first second and it was not an easy one. I found myself wondering from the start ... Could this movie turn out to be the best movie of the franchise?

The movie then started going deeper and deeper into character development ... into setting the atmosphere ... I was quite surprised as the movie carried along. The balance between character development and action scenes was spot on, acting was TOP notch, effects were very good,  things were exceeding my expectations at almost every step. It is a movie that absorbed me like I was not expecting it to ... and very rarely let me go. At the end, it was not a question any more.I had just watched the best X-Men movie ...yet.

Another thing that I really liked is that this movie performs a jump kick in the face of Hollywood. You have good actors around there (the lead performances are really good), you have good directors (no plot holes or over the top idiotic moments), just start putting out some DECENT movies for Christ sake ... yes ... you can ...

P.S. I don't wanna spoil it so I won't, but there is a moment which made me laugh ... hard. I'm still giggling when thinking about it. You'll know it when you see it.

We had to go Back!

Get it? ... like in Lost ... ? No?

Anyway, we've just returned from yet another absolutely FABULOUS holiday to our favorite PARADISE Island. It was so amazing I really don't want to encourage anyone elese to go there as I hope that place will stay as it is forever (yeah, sorry bout that).

It is a place of clear blue waters, lots of sunshine and, most of all, utter serenity.

I'll try to post more details about our adventure as it was really amazing. Unfortunately, work is anything BUT serene these days ... Coming back was like a kick in the groin. Well ... at least is wasn't like a punch in the face, which is just what Santorini was when we got there for a pitstop on the way home. But, more on that ... later ... soon I hope...

Zombie Song

On the assumption that anything is better than nothing, here comes the idiotic find of the day ...

Jake Gyllenhaal and the Sands of Time

Remember this movie that came out some time ago with Jake Gylenaglhal where he had the ability to go back in time? Well ... there's a new one out so since I didn't review the other one I thought a parallel comparison is in order. So, here we go, Prince of Persia vs Source Code ... fight!

The American Soldier vs The Prince

In the Prince movie, Jake is a handome prince set out to win fame and fortune. In Source he's an american war hero who was flying soldiers on the battlefield. Yeah, I look at the picture above and I bet we're all thinking the same thing. There's nothing more cool in this world than Americans fighting for the freedom of mankind, Jarhead wins, no contest there.

The Matrix vs A Puny Knife

Let's face it, a knife with limited amount of time sand which you have to actually hold in your hand and push a button doesn't stand a chance in front of remotely triggered modern day back in time full Matrix-style immersion where you simply cannot die. Pollygons and Pixels FOR THE WIN! In your face, peasant, that knife sure don't look so awesome now, does it?

A Dedicated Loving American Woman vs Some Brunette

Before we get ahead of ourselves, let's remember that there is nothing better in this world than a dedicated loving woman who just decided to go to India to find herself and wants to take her man with her. Now, that's personality that is simply lacking from that girl on the right. You can CLEARLY see she is just a shallow person ... It's a clear one again, I would say.

The Stealthy Genius vs The Arab Suspect

Let's be honest, the guy on the right would take three steps before the SWAT team would be all over his butt. The guy on the left on the other hand has a CLEAR advantage, this is by far the easyest matchup of them all. Red tie, innocent smile ... but just look deep his eyes, the guy is RUTHLESS ... You'd better start running you ... bearded ... scared ... guy.


Closing statement.

Let's face it, mankind has evolved since the XVth century BC and this just goes out to prove it. Current century rullz hard and I laugh in the face of anyone who says otherwise.

Oh, and about the movies, they're both pretty OK.

3DS Crackdown

Well, it's hardly a crackdown as I spent only a few minutes playing around with the thing, but here's my 2 cents on what I think are the three top interests regarding the device:

1. The 3D (doh)
I was really wondering if the glass-less 3D works. Basically, it was the only thing I wanted to check when I got a hold of it, the next two questions surprisingly came up afterwards.
I was quite shocked, actually. It really works. It is really really good. I was playing Street Fighter, so I can't say if all games are that good in terms of 3D, but the graphics and the 3D effect really blew me away. My eyes had little trouble concentrating at first, but at one point it clicked and I was even able to move the screen around and see the 3D perfectly.

2. The controls
Unexpectedly, I found myself evaluating the much praised analog mini-stick(on the left, above the cross-control) and comparing it to my PSP. The left-side stick is actually my favorite control scheme for Mortal Kombat, so I did also compare with my PS3 controller. I was quite shocked, actually. The 3DS mini-stick is ... crap. The material they chose is slippery and the feel of the thing put me off. I ended up using the buttons.

3. People claiming headaches after playing
Yes, if you know a thing or two about 3DS you probably heard people are complaining of having vision problems after the 3D and even headaches. I dismissed those stories after reading them, as I though some people just don't handle 3D that well, but unfortunately I did have some small dizzyness problems after a few minutes of play. I dont' know, maybe it's just me being a woss...

So, the crackdown... the 3DS looks amazing, has non-spectacular controls and can make you feel dizzy. As good as it looks, I would not buy one for myself ... or for any (other) child for that matter.

The Ka' ... the KA' ... whatever...

So, I finally got around to see the Ka' kin' Ka' kin' Ka' King's Speech. I was expecting to fall asleep... I was wrong.

I for one really don't appreciate at all the idea of royalty and royal family. I don't wanna go into it but these people's predecessors chopped a bit too many heads for my taste to act all high and clean and mighty, so I could consider myself quite a hostile spectator for this move

Despite my prejudices I was quite captivated by the story and although I will not become a royal fan anytime soon, I found Bertie's character to be quite interesting and likable. What I found more amazing than the story was the movie itself. It is possibly the first time in a few years that I can honestly say that I've seen an Oscar worthy movie. The acting is superb, directing top notch, and the story is paced very very well. The ending was also quite surprising as the movie was set to fail in an over the top Hollywood idiotic moment ... but it doesn't.

The movie is really great, so I'm quite glad I gave it a shot.

An Old Hope

In case it is not official, I declare myself being a really major Star Wars geek. I'm not running around dressed like Chewbacca, but to make it more clear just how big of a geek I am, I can tell you that one of the guys they shoot when they bust Leia out from the Death Star dies from a ricochet, and I know that because I watched just about every shoot-out from the movie frame by frame ... a couple of times. But that was about 20 years ago, so don't beware, I have grown up ... I think ... In fact, about two weeks ago I grew up to be 31 years old, and got a lot of grown up presents. Or kinda grown up ...

Presented above sits what is possibly the best gift the SW geek in me ever received, one that I was hoping for since I was a child, a true treasure chest for any SW fan. From the first brief page that George Lucas scribbled with the intention of making the movie, it really gives you some very interesting details of how the story evolved over time, quite surprisingly since it began with some very brief ideas out of which very few made it in the final version. It's really interesting to see how script writing and movie production worked in Hollywood back in the days and impressive to see how Lucas really pushed for his vision despite the total lack of support from the studios.

Anyway, the book really is amazing and it was most probably one of the best gifts I ever got. It didn't come alone though. As SW is a trilogy, so was my present, but that's for another time. Let's just say for the moment that Andreea thought it was time she gave me a good Star Wars spoiling, which she quite did (kisses and hearts flying around at this point).

As for life at 31, I have this idea about a very short movie that will illustrate just how much I matured over the years ... and I will post it ... soon.

No Script Attached

It's really hard to blame Natalie Portman for trying to get a brainwash after doing Black Swan, but, heck, that was probably the most intense sponge bath any brain ever took. No Strings Attached is most probably one of the most boring movies I have ever seen in my whole life.

Although the story could probably take about 30 minutes of screen time, it drags on seemingly forever and although I have no idea how long the movie actually is, it felt like over 2 hours of nothing happening on screen in the most boring and predictable fashion possible. Oh, and we have also Ashton Kutcher in the movie, played by Ashton Kutcher, which seems to be the only role he knows how to play...

Truly pathetic ...