Legendary Photo

I can't even begin to state how Legenfreakingdary this photo is. You have Keiichi Tsuchiya the man who became a legend through drifting and helped make the AE86 into a legend, now casually chillaxing next to the drifty GT86.

The guy who took the photo was not too shabby either, catch all his pics here: http://www.pmcgphotos.com/automotive/a-gt86-ae86-the-drift-king-a-shoot-for-car-magazine.html

Which reminds me, there's a foxy red fox waiting for me downstairs ... time to hit the road ...

The Zombie Chronicles - Part 1

Prelude

Christmas is coming ... and what could be more beautiful than to share with you a story ... about Zombies. Yup, perfect for XMas, Zombies it is, and in true Hollywood fashion, I'll make it a trilogy.

But first, a few words before we start. Lately, I've been watching a very funny show called New Girl, it's freaking hilarious. There's this guy on the show with whom I have precisely 3 things in common:
1 - he's also a guy
2 - we more or less share the same family name
3 - we're both trying to write something about zombies for some time
And that's the end of it basically, we each go our own way from there on. And, the truth is he actually managed to write the thing, as horrible as it was in the end. So, if Nick I can't finish anything ever in my life Miller is able to write his novel, I'll be darned if I don't write my Zombie Chronicles by the end of the year! Thank you, Nick, you are an inspiration ... or not ...
Anyways, here goes:

Part 1 - World War Zombie

The Zombie hysteria started quite some time ago and it's starting to dwindle down. There's a bunch of people though who've decided to jump on the bandwagon before it's too late some with better results than others. We'll probably get a much better idea of how the hype is holding up next year when Arnold Terminator Conan Schwarzenegger will release his very own Zombie movie.

But back to Brad, and the War on Zombies. I wanted to dedicate Part 1 to him because it's always better to start on a low note and end on a high. And, unfortunately, WWZ is a low note. The movie is toned down so it can be watched by children, so it's nowhere near graphical enough and the zombies themselves are just a mass of CGI moving chaos, which is definitely not in line with what Zombie-loving people want. Zombies need to be slow-ish. They need to appear real, so it's always better to use real actors and make-up. Basically the impression I got was that whoever made this movie doesn't actually understand or like Zombie movies.

It's not all bad though. The one thing that I really liked is the idea stated in a very non-subtle way by Pitt's character in the beginning. There's only one way to stay alive and that is to keep moving, don't lock yourself in your house, don't barricade your doors hoping it will go away. It won't, and you need to get a moving asap. And moving he does, the guy travels around the world to different locations, and we get to see how different people handle the situation differently. The idea is very interesting, and I do wish it was implemented properly.

However, everything I've said until now pales in comparison with something that is completely missing from WWZ and what I think is the single biggest problem this movie has. Pitt is all by himself most of the time, and the characters he encounters don't get enough screen time to create any attachments either between themselves or with the viewers. The real drama in Zombie situations doesn't come from the Zombies themselves. It comes from the way they affect the life of the remaining humans, and mostly on how the world (as it becomes) affects relationships inside and between groups of people. Zombies are stupid, they just want your brain and have a very straight forward way of going about their business .... Humans on the other hand ... now, there you have a real danger... Humans are intelligent and when backed up in a corner there's no knowing of what many things they would do. This idea is perfectly captured by the TV masterpiece, The Walking Dead, which I will blabber about among other things in Part 2, stay tuned...

To be Continued...

The Little Red Ninja

Six months. That's precisely how long we had to wait for the little red ninja to arrive all the way from Japan. But it is finally here, and just in time for the rainy season.

First impressions: it's stiffer than I remembered it to be, it's very responsive on the acceleration, controls are very heavy (pedals, gearbox) and most importantly it's very VERY fun in the wet. TC comes in quite fast, which is good, but you can still slide the back out just enough to splash a wide grin on your face.

Break-in takes the 1000 usual kilometers, but you can rev to 4k, which means you don't really have to hold back too much as long as you keep it gentle. Only ~600Km to go ...

So here it is ... waiting for the rain to come ... eagerly...

Stand by for those massive powerslides ...

Gravitation

Just how fun do you think it would be to watch Sandra Bullock drift away through space for 90 minutes? Not very fun, you say? Think again ...

This movie contains some kind of voodoo magic. It was very intense, with a lot of action, thrills and emotion. And yet, there are precisely 2 (two) actors in this movie ... it was quite funny and unbelievable at the end when the cast rolled in the credits ... Two actors ... producing some of the best action, thrills and emotion of the year ... And the visuals ... oh my, the visuals... Some of the scenes are so immersive that I was grabbing the seats next to me to help poor Sandra out. I think that this may just be the best 3D witnessed on a movie screen ... ever... I just hope you like spinning around ... and around ... in an uncontrollable way ...

Screenplay's a bit over the top ... but I'll let that slide. There was no room for a more down to earth approach ... it really would have turned the movie upside down and probably would have pulled less people in... that's not what it all falls down to in the end for such a movie, but I'm really happy to see it also had a very successful launch at the box office ...

So yeah ... great movie ... just make sure you grab onto your own seat when you see it...

All Hope is Lost?

I''m having an internal debate regarding humanity's hope to escape idiocracy ... it's a back and forth discussion which I want to remember and come back to in the years to come.

1 step back ... the golden iPhone

For years iPhones have been a landmark of great design. Haters can call it snoby, elitistics or whatever they want, but it was a tasteful design ... until now. The GOLDEN Champagne iPhone is here ... yes, gold is not enough, it needs to be splattered by champagne ... let the poor people go cry to mommy ...

This thing appears to have been designed using insightful advice from Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and that's not a good thing ... because these people are ... well ... f-ing idiots ... And the bigger problem is not that this phone exists, it is the fact that it will sell faster than turkeys on Thanksgiving ... people just love their Kim Kardashian ...  a sad day for human kind everywhere ...

2 steps back ... Hannah Montana gets naked

Lady Gaga, where are you? Nobody is even mentioning the fact you were as butt naked as physiologically possible in your last live performance ... Are you, sad sad joke of a performer, really finished? It certainly seems so, and I almost feel like jumping into my party-hat and dancing of joy ... almost ... Unfortunately, there's no party ... people are now talking about this wrecking ball:

I an quite sure that the discussion that lead to this youtube record-breaking event went something like this:
Manager: Miley, kids don't give too many f#$ks about you any more ... you're basically finished ...
Hannah Cyrus: But my singing ....
Manager: Miley ... you have your father's voice ... it's over ...
Hannah Cyrus: What if I got naked?
Manager: OK, let's go with that...

Same as before, the actual problem is not that there's a pathetic human being that does it ... the problem is that there are sooo many other people that support this type of idiotic behavior ... Yea, you're stupid and naked ... Shut up and take my money !!!!

... another sad day for human kind everywhere ...

1 step forward ... to outer space?

But wait !! Humanity is still doing some intelligent things ... Take this, for example. In a couple of years you might just be able to fly into outer space (kinda) on a commercial flight ... Here's a very recent video of Virgin Galactic firing up their rocket plane to supersonic speeds for the first time. In the final version planned for 2014 (yes, next year!!), the plane-ship will go 3 times higher than in this video ... looks very promising ....

Only problem ... passengers will be taking photos with their golden iPhones ... while listening to Hanna F-ing Montana ...

It seems like all hope is lost ... here's a cat video to raise your morale ...

iPhone X

Before we begin, full disclaimer, I own and love an HTC One, but I like to believe that I have a non-biased approach as we have an iPhone as well in the family.

The next iPhone seems to be incoming on the 10th of September, but why wait until then when you can know right now what is going to happen? Yes, it is the future, right here ... I know, right??

It looks like Apple will take the same approach as the Moto X from Google for their new iPhone 5C (as in Color most probably) with a highly customizable color scheme that allows you to make your own phone with a pink case and green buttons on it...

Together with the new iOS7 flat and colorful design, I think they might be onto something here.

I always thought the iPhone was a bit too posh for its own good, but then again people that usually buy an iPhone put an apple sticker on their freaking car, which is something I never ever understood. So, this is precisely why Apple will also carry on their current non-plastic aluminium gorilla materials torch with the iPhone 5S. They just may end up selling more 5Cs ...

See for yourself more color combinations at: http://sonnydickson.com/

Best Drive ... 4 Real this Time

I did a couple of test-drives recently, and came away frustrated with all sorts of stuff ... And then my friend S told me to give the GT86 another shot. So I did... and liked it... like, A LOT... wait, what? like 4 real? Let me explain ...

I approached the test-drive with more confidence this time and less desire for hyper-performance. We had quite a bit of fun on some roundabouts and hooned a bit more on some side-roads. Unlike the other test-drives, A was not feeling sick when we finished ... it was quite a pleasant experience,  we were both just smiling wide and having fun ... So, it was quite good indeed. Everything came together very nicely, the driving position, which is just perfect, the short short gearshift is the shortest I've seen in any car, the steering wheel has absolutely no buttons on it (which is just great) ...  It involves you in a way the other cars I tested just don't. Also, it's playful but makes you work for it, which means that it feels quite rewarding when you manage to pull something off. On top of it all, it looks fabulous, pictures don't really do it justice. It's so low, wide, with a long nose ... it's a real looker. 

This all sounds very good, but what about all that ramblings last year about how it's very so disappointing? Without further delays, I shall be going head to head against the remarks of the big hater (myself). So ... I previously said that:

1."It's slow"

Not much to be said here, this is not the car to impress your friends with monster torque acceleration at a push of a pedal. It takes skill to impress anyone, including yourself, and it will most likely not happen in a straight line...

2."wobbly"

Uh, that's a tough one to explain. In the Clio RS it's my spleen hugging my stomach telling me we might be in trouble soon. In the 86, it's the car...

3."EXPENSIVE"

They have some discounts going on, so it's a bit more acceptable.

4."CHEAP looking on the inside"

Just focus on the steering wheel, the dials and gear shifter and it'll be just fine. Alcantara seats are not too shabby either.

5."and until we all drift our way around every corner, I'll buy a Clio RS and keep my 7-8k EUR difference thank you very much"

But that mushy interior in the Clio .. yuck ... and the f-ing beeep beeeep shifter ... at ~5k difference like it is now I think it's better to try to drift... at least around one corner ...

6."Or buy a Focus RS and leave it behind wondering if it forgot to turn the engine on..."

That's actually not a bad plan, but remember: with great power comes great responsibility ... the GT86 is so charmingly relaxed in aspirations...  

7."Or, what the heck, I'll just buy a BMW 125d for exactly the same money ..."

Well...That sounded good at the time and the 1 is many things... but, I'm sorry to say, it's not a sports car. It didn't manage to tingle any petrolhead feelings in me. As I was pushing 140 around a long bend I came close to falling asleep. You'd have to get the 135//M, which costs quite a bit more...


And I think that's already too much of my blabbering ... the GT86 ... a cool fun car that doesn't want to rule the world, it just wants to bring a smile to your face ... and a smile came to me after a long time of frustration... so I think we have a winner over here... 4 real this time ...

Wolverine's Butt 2

While casually checking an overview of my blogger, I saw another spike in the hits I get from people searching for Wolverine's butt ... It all makes sense, since there's a brand new Wolverine movie out and, yes, they do show him naked again, and from different angles this time.

Unfortunately, I have hunted high and low and there's no picture to be found online for the best scene of the movie, with him naked in the bathtub. I know, I know, it's very very hard to get over such disappointment, and there's little consolation to be found in the fact that the second movie is about one million times better than the first one. All we can do is hope, that the Wolverine Butt will make another appearance in full glory in the next movie.

Oh, and in case some search engines miss this very highly informative post: Wolverine Butt, Wolverine's Buttocks, Butt of Wolverine, Wolverine naked, Wolverine behind, Naked Wolverine Behind, Naked Wolverine Body .... seems more and more visitors each day find their way here because of these simple and beautiful words.

The Facepalm d'Or 2013

I've been to Cannes recently ... and if there's one thing I learned there is that if you want to hand out awards you should do it during the summer. So I have decided to keep my current awards as a kind of Oscars and to create a new series of awards. I give you:

The FacePalm d'Or

I know ... it's AWESOME, right?? And so, it is with deep honor and pleasure that I present you the first ever winner of my soon to be prestigious award!!

Fast'n'Furios 6 ... or whatever it's called these days ...

This scene was beyond ridiculous ... I face-palmed .... literally and repeatedly ....

To be continued ...

Star Trek: A new Hope

I was anxious going to see Star Trek: Into Darkness. And not because I'm a Star Trek fan, but because I'm a Star Wars fan. Well ... that might be an understatement ... let's just say I can tell you the last guard in the Leia rescue fire-fight is not killed by a direct blaster hit but a ricochet ... I've watched the whole scene many many times ... in slow motion ...

And my dear friend JJFAbrams, who did not impress me at all with his first Trek effort, has been selected as the next Star Wars director ... yikes!

The good news is that JJFAbrams somehow managed to pull the thing off! I don't know if it was just a result of my microscopical expectations but the movie was not bad at all. There were some pretty good space scenes, some good old phaser action, Vulcan paralizing moves and someone actually mentioned of the Prime Directive ... it was a proper Star Trek movie ... which makes me feel a whole lot better ...

We may get a new Star Wars movie after all ... there is hope ... a new one...

Slightly Busy

Sooooooo.... My complete lack of blogging has come to an end! I was a bit busy with chaos at work and also reading a couple times all the books up there and a couple more. Regarding the books, at least I have something to show for it now, as I managed to get a PiMP certification. Regarding work ... not much to write home or blog about...

But that's that, and I declare open a new age in blogging! YEAH!!! Hurrah for self-motivation!!!

I shall double my efforts ... soon...

Iron Man goes down ...

For the past week I haven't been in the best of moods, but still, I was expecting to be at least mildly entertained by Iron Man 3. Unfortunately I was not ... It is a complete and utter mediocre movie, full of twists you see coming miles away, lacking any sort of suspense and completely deprived of the witty humor Iron Man had before, in summary ... a golden polished drop of pooh.

There's so many stupid things leading to nowhere going on that I don't really even know where to start ... his anxiety attacks that lead to nowhere, how an army of unstoppable superhumans have nothing better to do but to blow stuff up in order to ... to ... nothing? ... the way 1 million suits appear out of nowhere after he plays MacGyver during the whole movie... the big middle finger you get shown after waiting for the end-credits scene ...

Besides being just boring and stupid most of the time, what bothered me the most was that it looks like someone decided to take upon himself a mission to prove that you don't need a Joker or Bane in your superhero movie for it to be memorable ... That someone should be tarred, feathered and let loose naked screaming coocoodoodledooo in front of Christopher Nolan's house. The way they butcher the Mandarin character is simply unforgivable ... I'm sorry but it just isn't ... it's not funny, it's not smart, it's not anything except utterly stupid.

I'm really sorry for RDJ, he tries to save the day, but even he cannot help Iron Man from pummeling into the ground on this one ... it looks to be doing fine in the box office though so better luck next time maybe ... the only way to go is up...

Tati

11th Jan 1928 - 27th Apr 2013

Petrolhead Paradise

Speed ... Do you like speed? Yes? You may think you do ... but do you REALLY? I'm happy to report there is a place on Earth, where you can find out. It's called the Nürburgring Nordschleife.

The 21 Killometers track in the North of Germany has quite a few turns as you can clearly see in the image above, but what you cannot see is that there is a 300 meters difference in the elevation of the track, and that is ... well ... a LOT. This means that you're never really going straight, not even where you have the straights in the pic. The track is continuously climbing and diving and this leads to a quite astonishing number of blind corners, meaning that you either don't see the corner coming, or that once in the corner you have no idea when it will end and how... it's quite scary ...

I have been there before and almost peed my pants while driving it, so, naturally, I have decided to go again. For this time, however, I have decided to leave the driving to professionals ... and what better professional service to drive you around the track other than the famous BMW M5 Taxi?

Three people get to go, and the extra available seat went pretty quickly to our friend J, who is as well a hopeless petrolhead and Nürburgring enthusiast. He also owns a fine fine track machine, a classic 993 Carrera prepped and ready for action:

First up, it was the M, and, lucky us, this fine gentleman mentioned in the copyright section of the photo below caught us as we were plunging into the Karussell:

I kept trying to find the words to describe the experience we had in the M5... I could say it was fast, very fast, crazy fast, incredibly crazy fast, but it wouldn't really cover it... So, instead, I'll just say it was OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG ... OMFG. I could add a couple more OMFG's but it wouldn't quite cover it either. The way this car accelerates and then sticks to the corners is something very difficult to imagine. With the right guy at the wheel, it is a MONSTER, a car that makes no compromise, devouring tracks for breakfast and chilling in luxury when it is finished  ... you have to witness it to believe it.Which is just what I am encouraging you to do... Whatever plans you have for the near future ... just cancel it right now ... get a Taxi ticket and hold on to your internals ... they will be squashed together in ways you cannot imagine....

But back to our day, which was not even far from finished. After around twenty minutes of coming back to our senses, we decided to go at it again, this time in the Porsche. Some fine gentlemen owning the copyrights to their photos have caught us on camera and here are some of the photos:

Driving around with J was a bit more ... enjoyable. We did the track in around 9 minutes so it was still quite fast and tons of fun, but it didn't call for a group hug between all my organs followed by a very sudden argument where they each go their separate way. As for the 993, it is just a beautiful machine, fast, extremely well balanced, progressive, predictive. It didn't come at all as a surprise to me, but I was very impressed just how good a car that's not really brand spanking new can be when the owner knows how to maintain it and what he should be doing to it.

After a couple of laps, we were ready to go home. A. fell asleep around nine ... but she was really the hero of the day ... I am quite a lucky man.

I kept wondering this Sunday why they call the Nürburgring the Green Hell because for a hell-lot of people it's Paradise ... addictive Paradise ...

The Place before the Pines

You know that place in the woods where some people make friends or others will take you to shoot you dead? You'll get there sooner or later ... or at least this is what The Place beyond the Pines is telling you. So beware ... best thing is not to kill anyone  ... or make friends ... you can start with that. And while you're at it you should consider not messing around with corrupt police officers ... or the mafia ... or people who rob banks ... or bears ... cause bears live beyond the pines ...

But enough blabber, back to the movie ... It was quite to my taste, a pretty good reflection on life, choices and so on. Kinda like To the Wonder, only not crappy... kinda slow and long, but I didn't mind ... as long as I'm watching Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes or Bradley Cooper.

Now I only have to sort out how I'll ever be able to drive to the woods again ...

To the Nowhere

Apparently this ... "movie" is just coming out now in the States. If you plan to see it ... don't ... just don't...

just 

don't

Why? Why, you ask?? Because this movie is freaking UTTERLY BEGUILING ... just read the poster ... and I have no idea what the heck that means ... which reminds me of the movie itself ... why ... why?? This is the correct question: WHY? ?

Beguiling

utterly

trust me on this one

no sense

Zi Terminaiter

Apparently not nearly enough people have watched the Terminator movies... Or maybe the army guys went "This is so freaking COOL" five minutes into the movie and stopped watching before it becomes quite clear that they will kill us all ... All they need to do now is to teach it to say "I'll be back" and they're set.

If anyone has a plan for whatever follows I'd be very grateful to be included on the survivors list... please let me know ... 

Thanks in advance, 

scared shirtless hopefully future survivor

Springtime?

Is a photo of a lunchtime snack in the park worth blogging about? Considering we've been going through 6 months of winter, I'll say Hell Yeah!!! Post it on the news, call CNN, spring might finally be coming!!

I am, of course, freezing my butt off...

Clio Sport 200 ... Automatic

I would like to take a second to ask everyone to hold a moment of silence for one of the most beloved petrolhead wonders to have ever graced us with it's presence, the manual gearbox. Apparently, it's not going to be with us for very long, and to see why that's a very sad thing you need to drive this car:

the new RenaultSport Clio 200 EDC

To get something straight from the beginning, the new 200 is fast. The switch to a turbo solution will not really cause much nostalgia, as the small bugger pulls hard, loves to rev and screams wonderful songs through the cabin and all around. The handling is just beautiful, it corners incredibly well and the chassis balance is just amazing. All tires screeching already mid-corner and you need more turn-in? No problemo, ask for more and you shall have it without wobble, wiggle or hassle.

So ... this means it's great right? Power, balance, what more could you want?? Well ... how about a freaking gearbox? The automatic has quite a few problems ... First of all, despite the Double Clutch thing in EDC, it's not so fast ... I could not really tell a big difference from the Mini and that's a single clutch, which I don't really love to bits either. Fortunately you can switch to "Race" mode (don't bother with the "Sport" one) and you get a manual gearbox feel .... but, you start getting this horribly annoying BEEP BEEP sound every time you need to switch gears ... it just annoyed the hell out of me. Other problems? Well, the interior is not at all to my taste, the steering wheel is sooo thick, the seats are too mushy, the acceleration pedal is very soft and lacks any real feedback and it's very cramped inside (I can barely sit behind myself) ... The design problems continue outside, as the aggressive wide-street-fighter look of the previous generation is completely gone.

And so we come to our conclusion which I would like to draw as an imaginary letter that will never be read by anyone that could do anyting about it...

"Dear RenaultSport,
Manual gearbox, wide-body, Recaro seats.
    Thanks in advance,
    Random Petrolhead"

North by Northwest

It's March and the wind is blowing on the vast field of empty space called my blogging for this year. It is probably a very relevant indicator of the chaos that has barged into my happy cosy life. But, through all the chaos, and from the ashes, a blog will rise! And it starts now, with Iceland... or, actually, it starts with London ...

Heeeey, hold on a second ... I said London, not China!

Oook, that's better. So, as I was saying, it actually started in London, as we did a quick pit-stop before heading out to our very promising destination. So, things we did in London besides Chinatown: drank a ton of coffee,  went through the parks, visited a very non-cultural museum and saw an (exhausting) movie from a very comfy couch.

Unfortunately, the queen was too busy ... again ... So we decided to pack our things and continue our journey North, where a new dawn was waiting ...

but more on that later ...

Slacking in the Lobby

It was half past eight and I was slacking away in the hotel lobby waiting for my taxi. The past month I've seen many lobbies... too many for my taste... But the one I was sitting in was a bit special. Unlike my hotel room at that time, it was not a dump, which was great ... a small claustrofobic dump it was, my room.

I hate business travelling a lot right now, and I have a special thought of appreciation for whoever booked me this fine hotel on the edge of Copenhagen...

I wish I was off skiing somewhere... but even more I simply wish to get back home.

I should be there in a couple of hours...