I was pretty pumped up about this one ... The action, the adventure, it even had Eric Bana! I was trying hard to imagine what could possibly go wrong ... Well, just about everything did. A classic case of Charile Foxtrot ... in theaters now!
I can't put my finger on it, but the movie and I didn't bond. Even the first scene which is overkill in terms of drama. A mother giving birth while the father is dying ... it's pure dramatic poetry ... and I was not impressed at all ... Was it the music? Was it the directing? ... Who knows? Foxtrot number 1.
Later on, I kinda liked the T. Kirk character, until the screenwriter decided that Star Wars was "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away"-enough to remake the scene with Luke running around in the snow ... Foxtrot number 2.
And since I brough up that scene ... What are the chances that two people crash land on a planet in just about the same place? A whole darn PLANET, darn it! "Oh, how did you find me?" I was just thinking the same thing ... Foxtrot number 3.
Eric Bana started off as this very upset character who wants revenge for something ... and he remained like this for the rest of the movie. Upset, revenge, GRRRrrr. Bad guy, just so you know for sure who the bad guy is, a very boring and uninteresting character ... played by Eric Bana .... Foxtrot number 4.
Writing a prequel is sensitive stuff ... you must know what you are doing so that it goes with the rest of the story. Or do you? Apparently not, as this movie happens in a now parallel time line to the original series, and everything will be different from what was supposed to happen in the original time line ... get it? Anyway, why would you want to tell a story about how things started, if you are not gonna start the things? Foxtrot number 5.
It's nice from time to time during a movie to get a small tiny surprise in the plot line ... some twists and turns that you didn't expect. Well, it's not the case, as things flow from one point to another in a very predictable and boring manner. No twists ... no surprises ... just predictable .... Foxtrot number 6.
The camera was shaken not stirred ... Apparently it's the new thing from JJAbrams as previously seen in Clovermonster or whatever the name of that other mess he made a while ago ... and it's also my Foxtrot number 7.
I think I can stop there ... Is it very bad? Actually, no... Is it bad? well, more like just plain old boring actually...