Corporal America

So ... here came Captain America : The First Avenger ... with his ... well ... skinny body, at first.

But then ...KAPOWWWW MOTHERF#KEEEERZZZ

By the time, he started parading his muscles around everybody was jumping up and down their seats with excitement. And then ... it came ... the panic mode of Hollywood screenwriters who just spent half the movie building a good story and realized they needed to insert 157 (onehundredandfiftyseven) explosions into the movie as it was expressly demanded by the producers. This resulted, of course, in a complete mess. The story starts rolling around more frantic than a dog who's got a score to settle with his own tail. We get explosions here, fights there, explosions everywhere. Who, how, does not matter, all we want is some freaking EXPLOZIONZZZZ!!!! Yeah ... or something like that ...

Even they don't know what the f@#k is goin' on...

Somebody could have saved the day, and it was none other than Red skull Schmidt.Unfortunately, somebody else was so happy they got "the bad guy from Matrix" that they decided to continually wink at us with this. We get perfect replicas of two Matrix scenes with Agent Schmidt and they never really build the character, probably deciding to rely on the character buildup from Matrix. In the end the character is ... weak ... and very forgettable.

Captain America could have done Great ... he did almost OK ... I'm getting quite concerned with regards to that Avengers movie ...

The Yellow-Brown ... Monster

Starting with Fantastic 4 Silver Surfer, it looks like the shapeless monster came to become a habit in big budget Hollywood movies. They have it more or less in transformers as well, but it did not have until now a clear identity, it was too shapeless... to generic to be truly frightening ... well ... prepare to fear the shapeless monster ... forever...

I was expecting Green Lantern to be a movie about a hot heterosexual guy wearing a green ring and still managing to remain secure about his sexuality ... I was wrong ... it's about a hot heterosexual guy wearing a green ring fighting ... a very bad case of DIARRHEA... in outer space ... in 3D. The huge diarrhea monster feeds from everyone's fear, because let's face it, what could be more  frightening than diarrhea hitting you RIGHT NOW? Well ... I can't really think of anything else that would frighten me more ... except maybe having to go to see another movie as terribly crappy as Green Lantern...

Oh ... Blake Lively is also in the movie ... playing Blake Lively ... and some other guy who's performance consists mostly in screaming like a wimp ... and a bunch of CGI characters that can't act ...

I was expecting this movie to be bad ... instead it was a big pile of green pooh ... with yellow diarrhea on top ... in 3D ... yeah...

Apes will go Bananas

When hearing about monkeys taking over the planet, you can't help but wonder how in the hell would some monkeys ever be able to take out the human population with its superior numbers and technology. Well, even though it has been done before in another monkey related movie, the answer from Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a pretty good one. I hope I didn't just spoil it for anyone back there ... The monkeys launch nuclear missiles with their butts! There ... I said it ...

Other than that, the movie has good acting, often crappy visual fx and the story often wonders in the naivety sector ... very often ... all in all its a decent movie, which is all I can hope for these days.

Watch out, nuclear butt missile coming down ...

Back to the Movies ... again ...

Remember how a few weeks back I was happy about going to see a bunch of movies and playing video games? Well ... apparently it's another movie marathon week, as I should go see the following:

- Raving apes taking over the world;
- Some guy who wears a green ring but still remains confident about his sexuallity;
- Some kind of E.T. remake where he goes bazookas and blows s#it up;
- Another guy, wearing red tights, hoping to finally win America some gold medals in the Olympics throwing challenges;
- A bunch of blue midgets running crazy around Manhattan;
- James Bond, traveling through time to fight aliens with guns from the wild wild west ....for fun

Plus, I really need to write something about this Heavy Rain thing ... it's gonna be a busy busy busy week.

There and back again ...

I just wanted to report that I managed to avoid being eaten by werewolves in Kiskunfélegyháza, where I spent the night on the way to Bucharest. Otherwise, the trip was quite nice, one last journey together man and baboon, it was difficult to part ways but some things just need to happen ...

So, now it's back to sunny Luxembourg, where the weather is really beginning to get on my nerves ...

The long way home ...

This weekend I will make the longest trip of my life by car ... again. The baboon is heading back home and I will be taking on the trip by myself this time.

So ... Bucharest here I come ... 2100Km to go ... whish me good luck. Hopefully I will report in halfway there.